How To Overcome Your Fears? (Part One)
A view looking south towards Highway 99 along the coast of Howe Sound taken atop the first peak of Stawamus Chief in Squamish, British Colombia.
Step One: Make Them Your Bitch.
“CAUTION: This trail is NOT a walk in the park!” These were the words plastered, in bolded letters, at the very top of the information board, situated at the entrance of a forest embroiled, narrowly composed tunnel-like, gravel trail. On the top left-hand corner was a “BC Parks” logo. How amusing, I thought as I broke out a fragmented smirk.
As we proceeded through the vastly abandoned campground towards the trailhead, another caution sign, with what appeared to be a silhouette of an awfully rotund and bulky canine, had clutched onto my attention. The words beneath the ominous figure read, “BEAR IN AREA.”
A rapid-fire shiver darted up my spine and projected a flashback of a news article I had read not too long ago: “BC Bear Attack: Grizzly bear bites man in the groin near Spruce Lake, BC.” A sense of uneasiness, like peeling away a bandage insulating a freshly open cut wound, instigated the hairs on the back of my neck to stand upright in unison. Shit must have been a nightmare, I pondered. One did not require the use of a recycled pun to grasp the sincerity displayed in that warning.
As the trailhead was well within our sights, I felt a rumble flaring up in my stomach. It felt as if a thousand microscopic butterflies were flocking inside my intestines. I knew what that meant. My arch nemesis had made his triumphant return.
It was typical for him to make his presence felt at a time like this. On this occasion, however, he seemed more agitated than usual. It had appalled him that I had not caved in to the extensively “perilous” and “muddled” set of circumstances that were staring me down like a steamy rib-eye steak. He was aimlessly pleading me to second-guess my ill-examined decision and, instead of trekking this 700-metre-high obstacle, raise the proverbial “white flag” and showcase my inner poltroonery.
So, how did I respond? By resorting to my default pragmatic reinforcement tactic; merciless mockery. He thought that he could just inject his pessimistically poisonous and anxiety revolting venom into my level-headed consciousness and escape unrestrained? Not a chance. I crawled inside my brain to have a word with him.
You never seem to get tired of this shit, do you? He was well aware that I was referring to him. You’re just a washed up, broken down old man whose perspective on life outdates his very existence. I gotta hand it to you though, you are a half-decent comedian. Every unsuccessful, and often shamefully pathetic, attempt you have administered to try and get me to submit, has given me some of the most revitalizing laughs I can remember. I guess that is one positive attribute you do possess, being good at making a nonsensical fool out of yourself.
I was chewing and spitting him out every chance I got as the outset of the trail was within a couple meters of where we were. I could feel a sense of featheriness, almost like cotton candy, begin to replace the burdensome rumble inside my stomach. He had begun to depart from my conscience and dissipate into the warm summer aroma. This should have signaled a feeling of emotional tranquility, but it did not.
Before he could completely camouflage himself and wither away into oblivion, I grasped him by the throat. I knew that a little trash talk was not going to prevent him from rearing his ugly head in my business again. So, I firmly strapped him to my body, like a lap bar, prepping him for the most noxious roller coaster ride of his eternal life. A few more steps and our hike would commence. I could feel him shivering in his invisible boots. This was totally outside of his comfort zone. He was used to being an instigator of fear, not a victim.
And that was what made this so gratifying to watch. One way or the other, he was going to learn. For countless years, he had dictated authoritative rule over my prospective imagination with an everlasting desire to transform me into his mute, subdued, obedient, defenseless little bitch. And so, this was the day I planned on, deservedly, returning the favor.
